Why I Sometimes Hate Black People

As a black person I have to say, sometimes my people just get on my last damn nerves.

For some reason, we hate it when white people say we're loud and ignorant, and yet, we behave in manners that display this ignorance...and we're very loud about our ignorance.

When I was flying to Nairobi from Dubai the flight was slightly delayed and while the white people sat quietly and accepted that the flight was going to get there in due time, the black people made so much noise, as if the noise would get the aircraft there faster.

As for the ignorance, why is it that for black people, hustling is now the ïn thing". Its no longer cool or admirable to get an educcation and get a job or start a business in a legal and proper way. Nowadays, all black men have to have a side hustle to be admired by other black men. Its all about avoiding the popo and earning that extra buck in a way that you can't explain to your parents without sweating.

Why is it that when black people start a discussion or trending topic on twitter it's always a foolish one. If you're a twitter you'll know what i'm talking about. I can almost assure you the trending topics about the war in Iraq or anything on CNN are not started by black people. If you see a trending topic like #threewordsaftersex or #urehittingitwrong or #fabsteeth or anything along those useless lines, you can be sure there's a black person behind it. Why must we always display our foolishness?

Why is it always the black people that have a problem with inter racial dating. Any black girl that's been with a white guy will tell you that when they're walking in town together, it's always the black people that give them the "side eye"or the dirty looks.

Why are black women so bitchy? Yes, I realise I am also a black woman but still....
I want my brother to marry a white woman, coz they are soo much nicer...lol

Have a nice day my niggaz...lol

Que Sera Sera

Que Sera Sera: Whatever will be will be.

Whenever you're stressed out and thinking about "what ifs" and getting scared thinking about the future, think of this: Whatever will be will be.

There's some things that are just meant to happen. And I honestly and trully believe that whatever,s meant to happen will happen. Sometime's its unavoidable. For you to become the person you're meant to become, there are some things that have to happen. The only problem is, God didn't give us a list of these things, so when they're happening, we panic and get heart attacks and worry about it, when actually, they have to happen so we can take a step closer to the ultimate goal.

Whatever's meant to happen will happen. Don't worry about things that are beyond your control.

Bridal Showers and Marriage Education..

My sister had her bridal shower last weekend and as much as I missed it, I have been given the highlights. A bridal shower, for those that don't know, is basically just for the aunt's and mother of the bride to sit down and tell the bride what to do and what not to do in marriage. I believe it's supposed to help her become a good wife. I don't know about you but I don't think I'm gonna need one of those because I have learnt alot about marriage by watchin other people's marriages, including my parents, and listening to stories about what other people's husbands and wives have been doing.
Here is a list of my marriage advice ( from a girl tha's not even in a relationship..lol)

1. Be honest with each other. Even about the little things, coz its always the little things that starts the biggest fights
2. Don't beat each other up..lol.. if your man or woman is beating you up before you get married, dont'walk down the aisle, you'd rather cancel an expensive wedding than live with a re-occuring black eye..lol
3. If your husband or wife cheats on you, and you feel that you cannot completely forgive AND forget, leave. Because if you stay there with the anger, you'll make the marriage uncomfortable.
4. Don't bring up old mistakes in new arguments. If he/she did something last week and you already argued about it, don't bring it up in this weeks' argument.
5. Take a shower twice a day, nobody wants to sleep next to stinky steve.
6. Ladies, that head scarf MUST be washed. It starts to smell of hair grease and sweat.
7. Guys, don't put your boys first. If you put em first, you better sleep with them too..lol
8. LISTEN!
9. If you're wrong, admit it and apologize. You have no idea how many fights can be avoided if one person just admits they're wrong.
10. Work together. If you know you and your significant other are saving up to buy a house or pay the kid's school fees, don't go shoe shopping or PSP shopping and then hide the goods from your partner. Alot of couples fight about money, be transparent with it.

Most Importantly: Marry for Love, not money, not convenience, not tradition, not desperation, not sex, and not just because she's pregnant, children don't keep a marriage together, Love does.

I'm pretty good for a single gal right?..lol

Where do We go wrong?

After being in Kenya for a month and Malawi for a month, I feel that I can give quite a good report on why it,s taking Malawi quite a while to develop. I'll try and do this without touching the subject of how much money the country has.

First of all, Malawians are the most laid-back people you will ever meet in your entire life. Nobody is ever in a hurry to do anything. On the roads in town, everyone drives at 50km/hr which by the way is really slow if you have places to go. Even if you go to customer care center for which ever company, the people there can't be bothered to hurry up and attend to the customers. As much as it's nice that everyone's calm and all, this won't help the country move faster. We need a bit of aggressiveness and a "go- getter" attitiude.

Secondly, there's a lack of imagination. Even in the smallest things, there is much that could be done to improve services in the country. I went to Steers for lunch and what they do there is; after you order, they'll write your order number on the receipt and you take a seat and then when your food is ready, the waitress will walk around calling out the order number until she finds the person who ordered. Why exactly can they not just come up with those table stands that have numbers written on them, so the person will their order number standing there for the waitress to see? Small things like this will improve services in that country.

Thirdly, malawians are too familiar with each other. Although this is one of the fatcors that make the country so warm and friendly, its also bad for business. The last time a malawian opened a club, it was big hit, everyone loved it, but...it had to shut down shortly after opening..why? because everyone that knew the owner used to walk in for free and get free drinks. If you're malawian you know that it's a very small country. And you won't know just how popular you are until you're in business then everyone knows you and everyone feels like you owe them free services.

Fourthly: Malawians are to scared of risk. There is a general negativity that a person receives from friends and family when they decide to go into private business. When my father decided to retire and do his own thing, almost everyone he knows said "what if it fails?, you'd rather stay in employment". As a result of this attitude, most private businesses in malawi are owned by Indians and nowadays, Nigerians.

Malawians need to wake up before we lose our country to foreigners. Why should they come in and make money on our land as if we have no brains and no education? Be aggressive, being in employment is not even a plan.

Government Issue or Parenting Problem?

The other day I asked for suggestions on what I should blog about and someone suggested "Teenage Pregnancy In England".

Anyone that lives in England or has been there in the last 3 years knows that having a child at 16 is like a fashion there. Its like getting the latest hair cut or boots. In fact, 16 years is a bit old, lets say 14. If you walk into town in any British city, from London, to Swindon, to Nottingham, you'll see about 100 teenage girls, carrying babies (most of them mixed-race) and spending their easy-earned government benefits. I never understood how people that are given free condoms and told about protected sex from a very young age, can still voluntarily have babies and drop out of school, that is, until I understood the real deal.

If a teenager gets pregnant in England, they get more money from the government, free food for the baby, clothing, diapers, medicine and education, and when they turn 16 (i think) they get a free house; again, courtesy of the government. This may sound shallow but if I was offered a deal that sweet I'd be a mother of 6 by now, to hell with education. Why get educated when I can easily live in my house for free, and get more money from the government than I would be getting if I had a job.

Now, I know I'm making it sound like the government is to blame for giving them all these things for free, but what about the parents. I reckon if kids in England got beaten up more often, there'd be alot less teenage pregnancies. Think about it, one of the reasons my friends and I were always scared of the whole pregnancy thing is because we knew what our african, tough-love- practicing, disciplinarian parents would do to us. I know for a fact that if I had come home pregnant at 14, my father would have administered severe injuries to my body, and sent me to live in the village, where my grandmother would administer more sever injuries to my body..lol

One of my cousins was telling me about this woman she works with that has a 16 year old daughter, who recently got pregnant and you know what she said? " Its that boyfriend of hers, i told him he can spend the night but he must not impregnate her"
HELLLOOOOO! you can't tell a 16 year old boy to spend the night in your house, with your daughter as long as he doesn't get her pregnant, he's 16! all he cares about is getting laid..lol

In my opinion, the government and the parents need to work together to prevent teenage pregnancy. I don't even know why beating up your child is illegal in England, they need it more than Africans do. Bottom line, even if I was raising my child in england, I would still whoop their black african asses and dare them to dial 911!..

Know Who You Are

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"
"If you don't know where you're going, you'll go where the wind blows"

Both of these quotes pretty much say the same thing: You have to know who you are and what you want out of life. Nothing I say will do enough justice to the importance of knowing what your values and principles are. You have to know what you will and will not do, what you're willing to compromise on and what you're will stand by fiercely.

Too often, I see kids that fall into the whole peer pressure thing, doing whatever is the "in-thing", not because they want to, but because "everyone's doing it". The funny thing is, while most people only go through this in high school or adolescence, some people just never get to figure out what their principles are. Even in their twenties, they'll still be doing whatever their friends think they should do. If you know yourself, know what you want out of life, know what your values are, there is no way in hell that anybody can make you do something you're not into.

What's your stand on drugs? If you don't have one, you're most likely to end up doing them
What's your stand on unprotected sex? If you don't have a solid answer for that, you're looking for trouble

I know I'm starting preach now..lol..but I need ya'll to understand, that most of the decisions we make in life are made based on our values and principles. So you have to have solid ones. If they're not solid, they will change as fast as fashion and technology. Know who you are, what you stand for, what you want out of life. If you know what you want out of life, you're more likely to make decisions that lead you to that goal.

Facebookers that Irk me

The Party Promoter:
Oh my goodness! why do these people insist on inviting you to parties, sometimes in countries across the world, as if they gonna pay for you to get there and back? And the party always has a stupid name like "Adultery" or "Threesome"...I'm thinking, how about, the day I want to go out, I holla at you and ask you if there's anything good that night?

The Facebook Whore:
This chick will get dressed all skimpy AT HOME and take pics on her phone. Note: she ain't actually going anywhere, she just felt like taking a picture in her bath towel sitting on her bed. There is someone on facebook that has a picture where she's standing in her room, in her bikini and heels, not at the beach; In her room. There's also the guys that take pictures of their six packs in the bathroom mirror and that will be the only picture they have on their profiles. Gosh, whoring yourself much?..lol

The Attention Seeker:
This person seeks love and approval on facebook. Maybe their mother doesn't tell them they're good looking or they don't have friends, so they put status updates like "If you miss me comment on this status"...ahem..I want to comment, not because I miss you, but because I want to tell you that if people miss you, you won't have to ask them if they do?..lol. By the way, such people might get suicidal if nobody comments on their status updates, they watch their updates like a hawk waiting for someone to comment and validate their existance.

The One Who Feels Familiar:
You know those people you've never met before, but they add you because you've got a few mutual friends, then they start commenting on all your pics and conversations as if ya'll have been best buds or as if ya'll are in the same social circle and they have the right to mock your pics and so on. I once had someone add me and start commenting on my wall posts simply because me and his uncle when to the same church in Kenya. He even went so far as to ask for my digits, expecting to get them because..I know his uncle..lol..erm...yea, we may know the same people, but if you and I havn't met or don't know each other..please know your place and don't get too familiar.

The One With Random Comments:
Let me give you an example: You put on your status : "Man U better win this game" and this person comments " Hey, how are you, long time, hows your mum".
Now...wats that greeting got to do with Man U winning? The reason why there's a wall and an inbox is so you can greet me. If you're gonna comment on a status update, make a comment that has got something to do with the status update, coz otherwise you're just being annoying.

The Emotional Cry-Baby:
I'm sure you've all seen these status updates " i'm gonna kill myself, can't believe this is happening" ..or... "you hurt me so bad, I can't stop crying"...nkt!
lol..these emotional cries for help tend to get on my nerves. Call me heartless but damn, don't you people have friends you can talk to about this stuff without telling us all about it?

People That Like their own status:
One word: LAME! of course you like it, why else would you put it there?

The Random add:
You cannot add me randomly on facebook and expect me to chat to you like I would to a close friend. I don't mind it when people add me randomly, as long as they dont start bugging me. By bugging me I mean, starting a conversation with me on chat, and then when I don't talk to you like you're my best bud, you start tying in CAPITAL LETTERS asking me WHY I'M NOT RESPONDING? and WHERE HAVE I GONE?

The Insecure Girlfriend
Do Not, I repeat Do Not add me as a friend just becasue I wrote on your boyfriend's wall and you want to keep track of our wall-to-wall. I'm not nice enough to be kind to you, I will accept the request and blast you as soon as you log in to chat and ask you why the hell you added me. If I know you, its cool, but if I don't..I know exactly why you added me and I don't like it. Remove Friend.

Why don't girls ask guys out?

I was chatting to a friend today and he asked me "Why don't girls ask guys out?"

I said to him that 1) If a girl asks a guy out, she might be..too forward and 2) girls can't handle rejection that well.
He said that there's nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out coz he says life is about taking risks.

Now, in this day and age where women fight for equal rights. We want to get the same jobs as men, we want to be treated like we can do anything that a man can do. So why should we not ask men out? We are taught to be more independent, you know; we want a man, we don't need him! We are taught to be go-getters, hustlers, go for what you want, grab life by the balls..lol
Does asking a man out fall under this category of "grabbing life by the balls"? or is that taking it to a whole new level?
Women don't want to be seen as desperate. We flirt with men, you know, the subtle signals, like,laughing at all his jokes, even the lame ones that make you cringe inside..lol.. but other than that, we don't want to throw ourselves at you.
There's also the well known fact that men like the chase. Far as I know, men don't want anything that comes easy. So if you ask him out, are you not coming easy? They say a man will only appreciate you if he has to work hard to get you. So, we want to be appreciated, we won't ask you out, even if he pine for you every time we see you..lol

I believe that a woman cannot make a man be with her. If a man is not ready or does not want to be with her, he will not regardless of how many times she asks him out. And then the heart broken woman ends up hard hearted and maybe a little bitter at the fact that when she reached out,opened up, wore her heart on her sleeve, she fell flat on her face.
Men, on the other hand have the game, the swagger, they have the ability to make a woman fall for them.If they play their cards right, even the nastiest looking man can get with a halle berry look-a-like..lol..my point is, men have what it takes and in the end, its men that have the commitment issues, so they are the ones that have to decide when they're ready to settle down and then ask a girl out. Coz if she asks when he's not ready, it just does not end well..

I don't know why men would want girls to ask them out anyways, its just going to spoil the fun for you. You know you love the challenge...lol

Commenting

Just a reminder:
To comment on a post:
Click on the title of the post
after you write your comment, there's a part that says :comment as
Click on Name/ URL
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that will show your names above your comment. or if you want to comment anonymously, choose anonymous instead..:)

Life IS Serious

There is nothing more serious than Life. I can say that boldly because I believe in that statement.
Someone once said "Life is God's gift to us, what we do with it, is our gift to God".

I am so tired of meeting people that are just playing through life. You know, they're not bothered enough to have goals. Not bothered enough to think about the consequences of their actions. How their actions today will shape their tomorrow. I understand it when adolescent boys and girls do it coz you know, they still at home and they don't really have to worry about long term stuff. But its the grown people that worry me. The 25 year old guy getting drunk every day when he should be looking for a job. The 24 year old woman still playing with toy boys that wont get her anywhere. The 29 year old man that cant be bothered to move out of his parents house, coz he's too lazy to do his own thing. The 18 year old girl sleeping around because she thinks its her time to have fun. Sure, it is her time, but there's consequences to these things that people do.
Please people, I urge you...take life a bit more seriously. Not so seriously that you give yourself an ulcer. I'm not saying don't have fun. Just think about what you do. Some things are just not worth the consequences they bring.

Does Choosing Your Friends Make You A Snob?

As a child, I was told numerous times to always choose my friends carefully and that the company you keep affects who you turn out to be.

At first, I used to think it was a bunch of crap, I just thought, I am who I am regardless of who I hang out with. The older I got the more I realized how important it is to choose the people you spend time with. I have seen perfectly smart boys become failures at school because they started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I've seen good girls become sluts because they started hanging out with sluts. The more you spend time with someone, the more they start to influence your way of thinking, and once your thoughts change, your actions change and that's it, you become more like them. You can always tell where someone is going just by looking at the people they spend most of their time with, the people they get advice from, the people they admire.

I have been in a situation where I was hanging out with people, and I could see myself changing and gradually becoming more and more like them. I eventually just..walked away.
In my efforts to sort of keep myself surrounded by good people, I realize I may have offended some. I have been called stuck-up or a snob countless times. Thing is, I don't mean to offend anyone. Don't you ever meet people and them from their words or actions, you just think "me and this person can't walk together"...
I've had friends with whom I constantly argued with because we just didn't not agree of life's issues. We had different values, different priorities, different definitions of "fun".

Does it mean I'm a snob, if I choose not to hang out with people that I consider..juvenile? or..bitchy...? Don't get me wrong, I talk to people. I don't dismiss people without giving them a chance. Unless of course, its one of those cases where I've heard so much about their "extra curricular activities" that I just don't want to go there..lol
I choose the company I keep. I don't look down on anybody. I just, choose my friends wisely coz I know how they'll influence me. Does that make a snob?

Caught Up In My Dreamz...

I've noticed something about myself lately: I am quite the dreamer. Sometimes, I dream so much that I get caught up in it and confuse the fine line between dreams and reality...lol..
I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation. Where there's nothing much happening in your personal life, its all very quiet.

And so you find yourself, dreaming up situations you'd like to be in. You know, day dreams, I suppose, to make reality seem more exciting. The problem with this, for me, is that, I end spending so much of my time dreaming and not actually doing anything about it. It's like, my dreams are that perfect little world where I can control who says what to me..lol Then I wake up and have to live..reality...boring ol reality. I probably have myself to blame cause there is alot I could be doing to make reality more..exciting I suppose. But where I am right now, the excitement would be fun but extremely juvenile.

Sometimes Its easier to dream than to actually face the reality of the situation. Coz when it's time to face reality, then you hace to start analyzing things and trying to figure out where you're headed and what to do about it. That's just stressful. I'll just dream for one more day..:)
I realise I need to stop dreaming so much and maybe start living, but one more dream can't hurt right?..lol

So Random but so cool

Prayer

When I first decided to start blogging, I promised myself I wasn't going to put up any religious posts because to me, sometimes it can be like you trying to force your beliefs on people. This post ain't about trying to convert people or anything like that. I've just got something on my mind.

In the last few months, in Malawi, there's been this guy on TV from Nigeria. Prophet Joshua is his name and apparently he prays for people and performs miracles etc you know the type. So a lot of Malawians have been flying to Nigeria to get this guy to pray for them.

Now, I have absolutely nothing against having someone pray for you. I mean when I have exams, I always ask my mum to pray for me. But this is different. What concerns me is the lack of faith people have in their own prayers. Why do people believe that God will answer this guy's prayers and he wont answer theirs?

In my experience, if God is gonna answer your prayer, he won't answer it just because you got a pastor or a prophet to pray for you, he'll answer it because he has chosen to give you what you asked for.
It's not like if a prophet prays for you God's gonna pay more attention to that prayer. He's not gonna say
"Angels, stop singing and keep quiet, Prophet Joshua is praying and we have to pay special attention, take notes".

God hears your prayers anyways, he listens to everybody's prayers. The ones you say before you sleep. Even the quick "Thank you God" prayers you say when you're in a hurry. He hears them. God doesn't love the prophets more than you. He loves you all the same. So why do people have so much faith in someone Else's prayers and none in their own?
If you prayed and believed, God's gonna give you an answer, have faith in the power of your own prayers. Know that God hears them and sometimes, if you don't get what you asked for, there's a reason for it. Trust him. No is still an answer. And so is wait. It won't always be a yes. Whatever answer you get, there's a reason...say your prayers tonight, believe he has heard them and sleep easy...:)

List of Things Never To Say To A Man

Ok..So I need to reference this article that I found on: http://lily.co.ke
It was written by a guy called Lawrence..(have no idea who he is)..lol..I just thought my recent posts have been rather girly or soft so....here it is

So where is this going?
If we haven’t asked you out, there is only one possible explanation, we are not ready yet. As for your question, it was heading somewhere until you said these 5 killer words. We are slow by nature, we don’t like to be rushed, and we really hate it when you try to take control of the situation. Just let us do it our way. And if you are tired of waiting, well, move on! Who’s holding
you back?

Where did you learn that?
This question is fine if I just cooked you a delicious dinner, or repaired your computer, or did your hair, or pulled a dance move or any other innocent action for that matter. But if we were under the sheets, what kind of answer are you expecting? Ok, if you really have to know, I learnt it from an XXX-rated magazine. Happy?

I have had a crush on you like since…
Trust me dear, we know! And all my friends know, and all your friends know, and some of them told me like ages ago, even before it struck me. Truth is you ladies are not very good at hiding it when you have a crush on us. Unfortunately, it kills the thrill and mystery of the chase. Imagine if all of a sudden gold lost all its value and glamour. That’s what happens when we know you already like us. Please don’t tell us, and tell your friends to shut up about it, and try your level best to hide it. Ok, who am I kidding, we both know you can’t do it!

Of all my boyfriends, you are the best
Oh reaaaallly!! Let me break it down for you; men love challenge, we live for it. If I’m already the best, what more do I have to prove? Should I move on and find another girl to conquer? Keep me on my toes, just because you said yes doesn’t make me Superman. How about this, ‘Lawrence, I have to say, you blow my mind. I'm just curious what else you can pull’. A simple way to spice up your relationship that many of you forget so easily.

My ex and i…Once my Ex…My Ex used to say…My Ex
WHO CARES!!! Ok, you wanna play this game? My Ex and I once did it in the Principal’s office. My Ex, whose bust was twice yours by the way, had this see through top she wore at home that would just kill me whenever I spent at her place, My Ex used to take yoga classes (know what that means?), My Ex and I once spent a romantic weekend at Maasai Mara, it was wild in every possible way!! Feel me?

We need to talk
These four words shut off a man’s brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. You see, we use these 4 words only once in our relationship’s life, that’s when we want to break up with you. So when you use them, we feel like the tables have suddenly turned on us and we will run so fast in the opposite direction you will wonder if you hooked up with a cheetah. Find other subtle ways of having serious conversation and we will listen.

Nothing’s wrong
You don’t pick up my call for 2 weeks, you don’t respond to my texts, when I pass by your office you act all busy arranging your boss’s desk and the look on your face doesn’t say you love me more than ever before, and you tell me Nothing’s wrong? If you are older than 20, you should have known by now that we’re not mind readers, so please talk! And don’t make us guess because—believe me—you won’t like what we come up with.

Can we just be friends?
Let me share a secret with you ladies. All of us take “I just want to be friends” as “There’s still a chance,” so if there isn’t just make it a clean break and move on. You save yourself numerous irritating phone calls while of course saving us some credit (especially in this recession). A lady friend of mine told me you guys think it is polite. Its not! Do you know those guys who keep a lady hanging on to them, never completely committing themselves but at the same time being overly sweet? That’s the male equivalent to this line.

Am I fat?
What!!? No, you are crazy! Do I look like a gym instructor to you?

Do you think she’s pretty?
Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn’t mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but how do you hide a mouth that is agape? It’s in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, how about you look at that cute guy in other side of the room? Coz we will definitely look at her, head to toe!

Do you know anyone for my friend?
Which one? The cute one who’s always in skimpy clothing or the ugly betty? I was kinda hoping the cute one would remain single just in case we, you know, ended this. As for the ugly one, are you kidding me? Ohh, wait a sec, I have this nerd in my class who’s always asking me to hook him up. Funny story, first time he asked me that, I asked him, ‘With what?’He! he! He! Back to the topic. My dear, I am not a dating consultant. How about you propose a group outing with my friends then you can hook your friend up with one of them? Without my help. Thank you! You’re the best!

What are you thinking about?
Ah, the girlie phrase that out-girlifies all others, including the classic “Do I look fat?” which now takes a close second. Once again, don’t make us tell you because—believe me—it wasn’t about how special our relationship is, though if you insist, that’s precisely what we will tell you. Barca had better defeat Man-U, otherwise those idiots will be boasting for the next 3 seasons!

It was only one time
The tale about that one night you made that one mistake with that one guy – no matter how hilarious – should stay in the vault, along with any other confession that involves alcohol, an ex and –God forbid-visits to the abortion clinic. No, wait, Id like to know about the abortion clinic, when I finally propose to you, not before. Sweety, this is a relationship, not a support group!

Be honest with me
This one could go oh-so-many ways. None of them good. These four words make a man’s stomach knot up even more than if you’d said “Let’s go to brunch with my 10 best girlfriends “. If you’re trying to get his read on something casual, like a new dress, tacking this on sends him the message that his opinion of the dress could be make-or-break (oh my God are you sure you want to wear that top with that tummy?). If it’s about something more serious, such as the DTR (define the relationship) talk, just ask him outright. Boys can become men and give their genuine opinion – if they’re given a chance. No, don’t laugh, I’m serious.

That looks cute
For the most part, men hate cute. We don’t want to hear about it, we don’t want to see it, and we sure as hell don’t want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there’s a 100 per cent chance we’re changing. We’re supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture. Along with this goes such words as
Mellow, Harmless, Placid, Docile, thoughtful (especially with regards to the bedroom), and the deal breaker, OK. We hate Ok! How about Awsome, Handsome and any other adjective that ends with ‘some’?

That wasn’t so hard to learn, was it? Next time you meet your hubby, give him a passionate kiss and tell him “yes!” for once.

Again..to reference the article its from: http://lily.co.ke/

R.I.P

So, I've been trying to find the words for this particular post. But I'm gonna keep it simple.
I want to take this moment and put up this particular post to say Rest In Peace to Mr Emmanuel Mahuka. He was a great father and friend and uncle. I knew him all my life and I would like to extend my heart felt condolences to his family. You are in my prayers.

Humility or low self-esteem?

There's a friend of mine that I'm constantly arguing with. She claims she's humble, I say she just has really low self-esteem.
She believes that successful black men do not date black women. I don't know which world she lives in when men like Will Smith, Denzel Washington and Barack Obama are all married to black women
She believes that girls like her cannot get guys of a certain level. Bear in mind, she's one of the prettiest friends I have, has a degree in architecture. Nice long hair and she's slim.
She believes that the guys she likes will never like her because there's always a better girl in their lives.
And all this, she claims, is because she's humble and does not wish to be proud and think more highly of herself.
I think she just has low self-esteem. There's a thin line between humility and low self-esteem.
What are your thoughts?

Love yourself Enough

Its important to love yourself. Loving yourself doesn't mean you have to be selfish. That's a whole different thing.
If you're in a situation that is making you unhappy, love yourself enough to walk away. If you're in a relationship that appears to be one-sided, and you're giving your all and receiving nothing;
Love yourself enough to walk out.
Love yourself enough to have high standards when looking for the right person to be with.
Love yourself enough to want more than just the average life for yourself.
Love yourself enough to not self- destruct. I've noticed that most of the stress and hurt we go through, is self inflicted. We put ourselves in situations that are neither healthy nor beneficial. As a result, most of our battles are within.
Love yourself enough to not cause your heart any misery.
You deserve all the joy and happiness, love yourself enough to make sure you're getting that joy and happiness...:)

I'm feeling this tune

Quote of the day:

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.
Elbert Hubbard

Live

I read a quote the other day that said "If we all foresaw everything before it happened, life would be very boring" I know there's times we all wish we could see the outcome of certain situations, wish we could just get a glimpse of where we'll be in 10 years time so can can know if we're on the right track, but if you think about it, the uncertainty is what makes life so much fun.

If you were going to a football game and before the game starts, you already had a vision of who was gonna win, you wouldn't have as much fun watching the game. I have a friend that tells me that when she first got to campus for her undergraduate degree, God showed her who she's gonna marry. At first I thought, that's so cool, but then the more I think about it, the more I'm happy I don't have that information.

Part of life is being afraid, being uncertain, finding things out, going through all kinds of emotional roller coasters. That is what makes life what it is. So whatever situation you may be in, enjoy the confusion, don't kill yourself trying to see the situation 5 years from now, live for the moment, enjoy not knowing what the future holds. Have fun. Live and let Live.

Why do people Cheat?

I realise the question is usually "why do men cheat?" but we all know that women also cheat in their relationships. The question is Why?
Some people say people cheat because they can. Others say they do it to fill a void that is not being filled in their current relationships. Others do it out of boredom. Whatever the case is. Why be with someone if they're not the only person you want to be with? Why not just stay single and mingle?
another question comes to mind: What constitutes cheating? If you're in a relationship but you're sharing intimate texts with someone else, are you cheating? You're not actually touching this other person, you're just havign intimate chats. Is emotional intimacy qualified to be called cheating? We all know physical intimacy is cheating, no questions there.
But where do we draw the line? When does it stop being innocent flirtation and start becoming cheating? and why do people even start going down that road?

It Sucks when...(a personal problem)

So I need to get something off my chest and since I cant talk to the person involved, I'm going to rant about it here.
There's this friend of mine, known him for years and I kinda like him, quite a lot. Now he has a girlfriend, but sometimes, he'll come up, texting me, calling me about me and him getting together in the future, how we'd be so good together etc, we chat about it for a couple of days then we dont talk again for a while. Though, while we talkin about it, its like, giving me some kind of false hope. Then when we stop talking, I get over him for a while. Then just when I'm getting used to not talkin to him, he shows up again..and this time, he's all over me, kissed me n shit...the next day, he's talkin about bringing his girlfriend to my sisters wedding. I really want to just yell at him but I can't. I don't even know what to say. But I'm tired of it.
Ir sucks when someone just uses you to stroke their ego
It sucks when you like someone and they somehow take advantage of that
It sucks when someone you like, just takes it for granted that you're there
It sucks when you can't yell at a friend, coz it might just spoil the friendship.
It just sucks!

Impatience is a Virtue

I've always thought being impatient was a weakness. So when I saw this advert, I was rather amused. If for whatever reason you can't watch the video. Let me summarize it for you:
Patience waits, never asks for the pay rise, always finishes last, never just goes for it, always leaves things to be done later on, waits for things to happen.

Impatience goes for it, makes things happen, always finishes first. Impatience gives you the drive, the ambition to make it, doesn't wait for anybody to do the work for you. Gets to the front and gets on top of things.

The trick is to recognize when a situation would benefit from either impatience or patience. If you're working with lazy people, impatience comes in handy, because you get the work done. I'm not encouraging anybody to go and jump queues in the supermarket..lol..that's just rude. What I'm saying is: If you want something, Go for it, don't wait for it to come to you. If you want something done, get up and get it done. Time waits for no man. Impatience, if used correctly, Is a virtue.

Commenting

Ok, so I have received several inquiries on how to comment on the posts.
1. Click on the post title
2. Write your comment
3. At the bottom where it says to choose profile: click on Name/URL and type your name in..leave the URL bit blank..unless u have a URL..lol
OR: at the side of the page where there's a box for followers, you can become a follower if you have a Google mail or yahoo mail address and sign in..

Why does everything become a racial issue?

One thing I've noticed that bugs me a lot is how black people turn everything into a racial issue.
When Micheal Jackson died, black people (especially in the states) were quick to turn him into some kind of savior for the black race. Like he did great things for black people. Jamie Foxx even said that Micheal Jackson belonged to black people and we shared him with the world. In rev Al's. speech, he went on about how MJ opened the doors for black people in the music industry. i'm not syaing he didn't but why did his death become a racial thing?
Let me point out that MJ didn't seem to want to be a black man. He changed his skin colour for whatever reason. He had his kids with a white woman. I mean, if he regretted becoming white, I think he would have made sure his kids were black so at least they would get to be black..lol
So why did the black community make it some big race thing?

Another case is Naomi Campbell's recent photo shoot. She had a photo shoot where she was playing jump rope with monkeys..lol.. To me, it was just artistic and funny.. But people on twitter where on about how its racist and disturbing..Why? How the hell are we supposed to rise as a people when we are so petty?

Quote of the day:

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard.
The fearful are the failing.
Sarah J. Hale

Can You Learn to Love someone?

So, the other day I was having a discussion with some friends and she asked me "Do you think it's possible to learn to love someone?"

Now, I have always been a firm believer in the notion that Love is meant to happen naturally. You either Love someone or you don't. It just happens. But here is the big dilemma that alot of people face at some point. There are times when you really like someone and you want to be with them, but then they are not that into you. At the same time, there is someone else that likes you and really wants to be with you but you are not into them. Question is: Are you supposed to just date the person that's into you even though you're not feeling them, and just somehow learn to love them?

As a woman, when you are approaching a certain age, the pressure to settle down becomes intense. With your parents trying to hook you up with random guys. "hey, this is so and so's son, why don't you guys go out for lunch"..lol. and all your friends getting married, it can become frustrating. so, if you are at that age and you find yourself in the situation I just described above. What do you do? You're not getting younger. You can literally hear your biological clock ticking..lol.. Most people would just settle for the guy that's into them even though they are not feeling him.

From my research, most of the people I spoke to said, they might as well just go for it and somehow hope the person grows on them with time: fear of being alone. Others said, its better to be alone that to be with someone you dont really like. Because at the end of the day, even if you grow fond of him, it won't be love, it will be fondness and your heart will still be looking for love elsewhere. hmmm...any thoughts on this?

Caster Semenya

So in the news the last couple of days there's been talk about South African athlete Caster Semenya. She won a gold medal for the womens 800m race and since then, she's been disqualified because there is a huge question mark about her gender. So, she's an 18 year old girl, she's masculine, has a deep voice, and I won't lie, she does looka bit like a man. But, I am sickened by the cruelty and harshness that people have displayed. Firstly: people are acting like they have never seen a woman with muscle. Venus and Serena Williams have muscles that would shame any man in my phone book (no offense)..lol Secondly: Facial hair? There are plenty of women that grow mustaches, they just shave em so men have no idea. I happen to have a couplde of aunties with a bit of facial. It does not immediately make her a man Thirdly: Deep voice? like ya'll have never met a man with an extremely high voice? There was a plumber that used to come to my house and I swear his voice was as high as Mariah Carey's and he was a married man with children. It happens. Why is it that when someone is in the spotlight and people are accusing them of all sorts of things, people act ignorant, like they've never seen anything like it? When Chris Brown hit Rihanna, everyone went crazy like they've never seen women living with domestic abuse. I'm not saying its right to hit women, but there are plenty of women that looked at Rihanna's pic and thot "pssh, you should see wat my husband did to me the other day, all you got was a slap". There is nothing new under the sun. Remember that. I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt because it is extremely humiliating and hurtful for the world to tell any woman that she is a man. Put yourself in her shoes for just 10 seconds. Imagine her pain. Has the world become so shallow that we just judge people by appearance? It is sad indeed. Let me also add, that some of the people pointing fingers, are probably more masculine than she is and probably not even half as talented as she is. Why wont you let Caster be great?

I'm back!!

Hey people..gawsh its been ages. I know I neglected the blog for a long time, 5 months to be exact. But I'm done with school now and bored as hell so I'm trying to resurrect the blog, keep myself busy and vent about stuff..:0

The Fuckaries of Life...

Suppose you have a friend called Mark, and at some point, you find yourself in a financial mess and he lends you about 900 pounds to sort yourself out. He clearly gives you a deadline to pay him back

As the deadline approaches, you realize you don't have enough money to pay him back.
During a chat with another friend, Luke, you happen to mention your problem. The conversation goes like this:
You: I cant go out this weekend, I have enough money problems as it is
Luke: Whats up?
You: I owe Mark 900 pounds and I don't have enough to pay him back. I dont know what I'm gonna do
Luke: How much do you need?
You: 400 pounds
Luke: I'll help you out, I'll give you the 400 pounds, just dont go shopping with it
You: Really? Cool, thanks.

Now, let me add that Luke is dating a friend of yours, called Kayla. So a few says later, you having a chat with Kayla, and you tell her about the money that Luke's giving you
Kayla talks to Luke and he just says "yea, I just felt sorry for her, I felt like helping her out so I decided to give her the money"
So he gives you the money, and its never mentioned again.
Five months later, Luke emails you and says, he's broke and wants his 400 pounds back in 2 weeks.

From a friendship point of view, you have to admit, its quite unfair.
Legally, he cant sue you for it, coz he gave it to you and not once did he say it was a loan, even when Kayla asked him, he never said it was a loan.
At the end of the day, it is Luke's money and he has a right, somehow to demand it back....Right?

I'm just sharing some of the fuckaries of life.

Read between the lines....

So, a friend of mine has been in the UK for 6 years, she finished her masters last year and got a proper full time job in a British firm. Now, her visa was about to expire and she decided to apply for a post-study visa, which basically allows you to work for two years after your postgraduate degree.

One of the requirements for this visa is that the applicant's bank balance should do not go below 800 pounds in the 3 months before submitting the application. Anybody that is an international student in the UK knows how unreasonable this is. You'd have to be loaded to have that much money just sitting in your account for 3 months.

So she submitted the application and she was denied. The reason: her bank balance went below 800 pounds.

In my opinion what they should just say is : We at the home office feel that all you immigrants are taking up jobs that should go to British people and due to the current economic crisis, we have decided that we should find a way to send you back home one by one. So, your visa is denied, we hope you understand; if you don't, go f**k yourself!

Just sharing

I found this new website ..
www.ehow.com
On that website, there's tips or instructions on how to do everything, like..seriously..even the most random thing is on it...
check it out..

......hmmmm....

So, unless you've been living under a rock for the last couple of months, you have heard about Nadya Suleman, the woman that gave birth to octuplets.
Now, she has been offered $1 million to appear in a porn movie. Now, I know what ya'll are thinking, she shouldn't do it right?
But before we jump to conclusions, lets evaluate her situation:

• She had 6 kids before the octuplets , which means she now has 14 kids.
• She doesn't have a job and currently claims government benefits
• The octuplets are still in hospital, but her and her 6 kids live in a 2 bedroom house with her parents.
• The 2 bedroom house is about to be repossessed by the bank because her mother is like $23000 behind in her mortgage payments, which means she will be homeless, along with her kids.
• The hospital has refused to let her take her 8 newborn babies home, because she can't support them

So, in my opinion, doing a porn movie is not such a bad idea. I wouldn't do it myself, but then I wouldn't have 14 kids I cant support.
By the way, if you guys wanna donate, she has put a website up where you can donate using your credit cards. www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com
happy donating!!

Really? In this day and age?

This is just so wrong.

Personality of the Week

Today, George Clooney had a meeting with US president Barack Obama to discuss the crisis in Darfur. Clooney, a U.N. Messenger of Peace, said he asked the president to appoint a full-time regional envoy who reports directly to the White House, and to ask China to set aside its business interests in the region and pressure Sudan to prevent atrocities. He has, in the past visited camps in Chad where more than 25,000 refugees live and was clearly touched by what they are going through. Such a kind heart, this immidiately makes him personality of the week, and it has absolutely nothing to do with his..erm..hot..buff...beautiful..looks...lol

Lets be Random

Ok, so you're probably wondering wat the hell i'm up to now.. well, I'm bored..when i'm bored, I do bored activities like start blogs ... so..this is where i'm gonna keep ya'll updated on my random thoughts and anything random I feel like puttin up.... Enjoy...