I’ve been thinking a lot about the pros and cons of being an independent woman versus those of being a housewife. In this day and age, girls are encouraged to be independent, have their own money, and not depend on men to provide for them. At the same time, we’re supposed to somehow also be the perfect wives. You know, the typical African definition of the perfect wife: One that wakes up at 5am to clean the house, hand-washes all the clothes coz you know, buying a washing machine is just laziness. One that makes sure there’s food on the table at 7pm sharp coz her husband is hungry after a long days work.
I’m starting to think that all these expectations are just really unfair and hard to live up to. If a woman’s not depending on a man for money, it means she’s got a business or a job going on...and she’s got to work hard to make that successful and at the same time be super-mum and exceptional wife. Seeing as it’s hard to find this balance, most women tend to go one way or the other. If they decide to be independent, they usually have a maid that cooks, washes and cleans and at some point she risks an affair between this maid and her husband, coz the maid takes her place in the home.
If they decide to be housewives, they find themselves at the mercy of their husbands for everything. If they wanna get their hair done, they have to ask for money. Nothing is left in their control...except the house. Of course the pro’s of this option is that they are in full control of the house, they own their marriage and family. And somehow, their husbands depend on them for simple things like picking a shirt to wear..so I guess they have some control. Is it possible though to find that perfect balance? Where a woman has her own income, goes out and makes her dreams come true, and at the same time, still maintains the boss position at home?
I think it is possible for a lady to have the best of bost the private and the public spheres. In this day and age I can't even begin to imagine being a stat-at-home mum for numerous reasons including the rising cost of living. But at the same time I wouldn't want to persue a professional life at the expense of having a happy and functional family.
ReplyDeleteThere are several ways to create a healthy balance btwn the professional and wife and mother. Having a husband who shares your dream to persue a career is paramount. Someone who won't want to steal ur shine but rather encourage you to be all you can be!
Not letting your maid do whatever the hell she likes is another way to remaining the boss at home albeit being a working lady. You set the menu, tell the maid what she's cooking that day. You draw up the schedule: which days she'll clean, which days she'll do the laundry etc. This way she'll know that she can't have free reign in the house but is still answerable to you!